Not So Perky-cet

Diagnosis? An angulated/comminuted fracture of the first phalanx of the right great toe.
Solution? A titanium plate/screws to put it all back together.
The Seattle Surgery Center was the venue for this little operation on Friday morning. After checking in, I changed into the obligatory hospital gown, booties, and hair net (sadly, didn’t get a picture of this). The surgeon then sat down and explained the procedure to me. I asked him how long things would take and he told me that “sometimes it’s like a jigsaw puzzle” so it can take up to an hour. I hope my mish mash of bones provided him ample challenge.
The anesthesiologist was Tamilian, so I told her if she needed to yell at me about anything to please do so in Tamil–that way it would feel like I’m at home. The relaxing timbre of her voice was perfect for pre-grame. I wasn’t nervous about the procedure, but you do get a weird feeling when you’re laying naked on an operating table with bright lights beaming. She was telling me that I could take Tamil classes at the temple here in Seattle. I responded that in three years in Seattle I’d never been there. The nurse in the O.R. chimed in with, “Don’t worry…someone is watching over you.” I remember thinking to myself “word up” and then I drifted off…
Next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room all groggy. I didn’t have my glasses on, but after some serious squinting I determined there were saltines and graham crackers on the tray before me. I gobbled those down before demanding some apple sauce and water. The nurse was all like “you’ve already had two bags of saline!” I told her to stop being stingy with the saline. Must have been the drugs doing the talking.
Now, it’s nothing but the World Cup in high-definition and my cocktail of percocet, aspirin, ibuprofen, and metamucil. Looks somethings like this:

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